It's been long since I wrote here, I know. I could list a multitude of reasons and excuses why, but they don't seem to matter much. Important to me is that I'm finding my way back.
As I was revisiting and reorienting myself with my prior musings, I was struck with some amusement at one of my last posts where I talked through my feelings about my Associate of the Month award. Why? Because for the past month and 13 days, I've been laid off. For the second time in my 6-year career "history".
The whole thing's been quite the experience. I'm still not sure how a person goes from being recognized as an invaluable resource within her department and organization, to being told that she was not the right fit for any of the positions in the new department structure and therefore there "just isn't a place for you" - it was much more difficult to process than my last layoff experience. This time I didn't expect it, and I actually liked my job, which (I'm sure you're surprised) makes a huge difference.
But the point of this story is not a sad one. Because anyone who knows me well, knows that I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and I really do look for the opportunity for everything. And I have to believe that I've found it. 2 days from now I'll be midway through my first day in a new position. It's exciting - a newly created role with the Medical College of Wisconsin where I'll have great benefits, a great bump in pay, and from what I know so far, great coworkers.
The part that I'm less confident about is the position. Initially, the idea of building a role from the ground up was exciting to me - I'm a creative, strategic thinker, and I don't like others to tell me how I need to do things. I like to solve puzzles, and I like to figure it out for myself. I think this role will offer me that. Beyond that, however, the problem is that I just don't know. Because no one knows what the role will entirely entail. And that's a little scary.
Over my time at Baird I was really lucky to be part of a team that fostered individual development and really encouraged me to learn about myself - to find my strengths and my passions. To learn what makes me tick. And now I just have to take a deep breath and have faith that this role is going to fulfill me, now that I know myself so well. I need very badly to believe that in this new position I'll be able to continue to explore myself, use my talents, and grow my skills. I can only hope that, benefits and pay aside, this is the right next step for me as a professional and as a person.
However, anyone who knows me well, also knows I have a tendency to worry. So the faith I need to have is a little hard to keep up right now. Especially as I have been sitting idly for more than week now, going over and over what I know and what I don't, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting to jump in and get down to work. A day and a half to go...and then hopefully I'll be able to renew my faith. Hopefully.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment